Introduction
Feeling exhausted, guilty, and disconnected doesn’t mean you are failing as a parent. It means you’re human. It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed running from school drop-off to work or errands and then hitting repeat the next day with minimal breaks and down-time. Today’s parenting comes with high expectations and little support. If you’re feeling burnt out, please know that you are not alone. In fact, the U.S. Surgeon General is calling parental burnout an urgent public health issue that needs to be addressed. Today’s parents are under pressure and are putting more time into caring for their children and working than parents two decades ago (U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, 2024). According to the Advisory, “41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function and 48% say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to other adults (20% and 26%, respectively).” Read on to see if you are experiencing signs of burn-out and what you can do about it.
What is Parent/Caregiver Burnout? 7 Signs of Parent Burnout
So what exactly is burnout? It is not just normal tiredness; it is chronic stress and emotional exhaustion. Child and teen psychiatrist, Dr. Karen R. Stewart, explains it as such: “chronic stress is the stage before parent burnout. And once a parent is burned out, it’s a different level of stress — there’s just nothing left to give.” If you’re wondering, ‘am I a burned-out parent?’ these are common signs to look for:
- Constant and consistent fatigue, even after resting
- Feeling “on edge” and frequent snapping at children or loved ones
- Feeling disconnected or emotionally numb
- Difficulty making decisions
- Feeling completely overwhelmed from even the smallest of tasks
- Physical symptoms (sleep issues, headaches, impaired immune system, stomach complaints, etc.)
- Lack of motivation or focus
Causes & Pressures that Lead to Burnout
You may wonder what causes these symptoms and who is at most risk. Causes and pressures that lead to burnout include minimal downtime or lack of self-care. Especially when you are finding that you have to balance both parenting and work responsibilities. There is also the constant pressure from social media or others on being “the perfect parent.” Additionally, many San Diego parents report that the high cost of living and lack of family nearby creates an additional layer of stress.
Why Addressing Burnout Matters
Now you might say, so what? There is nothing I can do to change my circumstances–I need to work and I need to parent–why does it matter if I am burnt out? Unchecked burnout can lead to mental health problems, impact our parent-child bond and relationships, and can even cause serious and chronic physical issues such as high blood pressure and heart disease. The earlier you recognize some of these symptoms, the more quickly you will be able to seek support and identify what you need. This will not only benefit you, but will also benefit your family and loved ones.
Practical & Emotional Strategies to Recover
Here are a few self-care tips for burned-out parents to start regaining balance.
- Start with small boundaries (e.g. set time away from the screen, saying “no” more often)
- Schedule self-care (not indulgence or “trendy” consumerism; rather activities that give you energy and fill your cup such as walks, more sleep, hobbies)
- Ask for help (from friends, relatives, local support groups, school, parenting consultations)
- Normalize taking breaks (short respites, babysitting, enrolling kids in afterschool programs or camps)
- Reframe expectations (Remind yourself you do not have to be perfect and actually it isn’t even beneficial to model perfection. This sets up not only an unhealthy and unrealistic framework for you to abide by, but also for your kids. We are human and make mistakes.)
When to Seek Extra Support
If you are implementing these strategies and they are not working, then it might be time to seek additional support. Indeed, if you find your mood, health, and relationships are constantly strained it is time to look at some available options such as parent consultations. Parent consultation services can provide tools, strategies, and emotional support. If you’re looking for parenting support in San Diego, Secure Roots Parent Consultation can help.
Conclusion
Rest assured, burnout does not mean failure. It means you need additional support and there is no failure in admitting or seeking that. We are human and thrive on connection. If you recognize yourself in these signs, consider reaching out for a parent consultation. Serving families in San Diego and surrounding areas remotely throughout the state of California, Secure Roots helps parents, grandparents, and any caregivers taking on the parenting role regain balance, patience, and confidence. Consider booking a consultation session today.
References
Office of the Surgeon General. (2024). Parents under pressure: The U.S. Surgeon
General’s advisory on the mental health & well-being of parents [PDF]. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved September 9, 2025, from https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/parents-under-pressure.pdf
Kaiser Permanente. (2025, April 9). Preventing parental burnout: Self-care strategies and more. Kaiser Permanente. Retrieved September 9, 2025, from https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/washington/health-wellness/healtharticle.preventing-parental-burnout
Disclaimer
The blogs on our site are for informational and educational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this content does not establish a service relationship. If you are experiencing distress or mental health concerns, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call 911 or the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.